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Relationships

Dating Your Spouse

By August 26, 2016 No Comments

Falling in love is such a beautiful feeling. That rush of emotion towards that special someone can keep you on cloud nine all day long. Every moment spent together is treasured; hours can be spent on the phone talking of everything and nothing. The intimacy of shared dreams make the bonds grow stronger with every passing day. This special love leads both parties to the altar. After the wedding, the first year is so magical. Your spouse is legally yours.

Then gradually the magic begins to fizzle out. You start taking each other for granted; you start being less tolerant of your partner’s quirks, you begin to put lesser effort into investing time in your relationship. If there are kids, attention starts shifting to them. Gradually, couples drift apart. Why can’t lovers sustain their love over time? Why can’t the magic of first love be forever? Continue…

In my opinion, more effort is needed in marriage than in relationships. Why can’t married couples date? With the stress everyday brings, added responsibilities, kids, etc, it’s easy to lose the spark or get distracted. I think couples should designate a day in every week or two for just themselves.

Leave the kids, the house help, your parents, your job, your boss, your church, etc behind and focus on your spouse. Talk about yourselves only. Go out on a date. It doesn’t have to be elegant dining only. Pizza and ice-cream, a walk on the beach, a movie at the cinema, shawarma at the local joint… you get my drift. Relax in each other’s company and get connected.

The man/woman you married six months ago is not the same person today. Events, responsibilities and exposure and other factors mould and shape us every day. Get to know who your spouse is at this point in their life.

Why is this important? Firstly it keeps the romance alive. Y’all know women love being loved and being in love. Keep her content.

Secondly it increases intimacy. Intimacy is not just about sex please. Pillow talk, feeling close to your spouse emotionally, having secrets together, gossiping gisting (lolol), having shared dreams and goals, that’s all part of intimacy. You and your spouse should be able to have a full conversation about someone in a gathering without anybody knowing. How often do you give spontaneous hugs to him/her? How about gifts? Do you reserve them for birthdays alone?

It also creates room for communication. This is the time when you can tell your spouse how leaving the toilet seat up upsets you and it won’t turn into a fight.

But all this is my opinion. What do you guys think? Is date Night a bad idea?

P.S. Dear ladies, you’re married to your husband not to your kids. That advice of “leave him alone and focus on your children” is counter productive. Except your husband has done something abominable, please channel more energy into fixing your relationship. The kids will grow up and leave, Oga is in your life forever ohhh. #SippingMyTea

 

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