A lot of married people have been hurt and had their trust broken because of the infidelity of their cheating spouse or partner. So many times, people who have been cheated on have the tendency to turn around and blame themselves by asking questions like ‘What did I do wrong?”, “Am I not enough for him?” and so on and so forth. A lot of foundation, emotional and psychological issues lead people to into infidelity. Sometimes, they need help to overcome these factors.
This post will tell you ways to help your spouse overcome the factors that make them cheat; it is a positive approach to an otherwise devastating situation instead of indulging in self-pity and even depression.
However it is important to know that the willingness of the spouse in question to change plays a serious role in the effectiveness of your efforts to help. Change comes from within; it is not and can never be forced.
- Suggest professional couples counseling – Our culture pays very little credit to the help professional counselors can bring to the table. While seeking for counseling from church elders is good, professional counselors have an edge because they have been trained to spot marital issues. They have a professional approach that is unbiased to the issues raised, you are also protected by the confidentiality clause and are sure your marital issues won’t mistakenly form fodder for the local gossip mill. Professional counselors also have tools available to them that will help you grow intimacy and trust back in your relationship
- Forgive your spouse – If you have lingering bitterness within you about your spouse’s indiscretion, all efforts you make at reconciliation will crumble eventually. Gradually resentment will build and your spouse who was willing to change will feel your latent hostility and become even more withdrawn. It’s very hard, but you need to let your hurt and anger go. Scream at your partner if you need to, cry and rant and yell but eventually get over it as quickly as you can
- Help them stick to the plan – Your spouse is probably working really hard to stop being unfaithful; help him achieve this by walking the walk with them. Without acting like you are their jailer, help make sure they don’t slip back into old habits; watch so that predatory outsiders will not have access to them especially during vulnerable periods. Keep them focused.
- Listen to them – Most times in situations where one party has been unfaithful, it is very hard for the aggrieved to listen to what the guilty party has to say. But before you flare up in anger and accuse them of trying to blame you for their mistakes, listen carefully. Most times, there are things we need to change in ourselves – modify, improve or eliminate – in order to make our partners happier. A little change in your character or behavior may be the final motivation needed to get back on track
- Pray for them – Nobody can be changed by another human. A human may influence their character but true change comes from God. Pray for them and ask God to turn their hearts in the right direction.
Have you ever been cheated on? How did you handle infidelity in your relationship? Tell us in the comment section below