Over time, women have come to accept certain behavior as normal. We have reduced our expectations so much that nothing surprises or shocks us anymore. Women are willing to live with and put up with almost any behavior no matter how degrading or hurtful it might be to them. Common phrases like men will always cheat, all men are the same, he only hits me when I make him angry, don’t provoke your husband to beat you, whether you’re wrong or not just apologise to him, etc are not uncommon to hear these days, even from enlightened women. Why have we helped build a culture that neither respects nor appreciates us?
Why can’t we hold men to a higher standard? Why can’t men hold themselves to a higher standard? No, they will not always cheat, they choose to and frankly with the knowledge that their wives have come to understand and accept that reality I don’t see why they should quit it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking women to leave their husbands because they did something hurtful. I’m asking women to stop the presumption. Stop waiting for your man to cheat so you can be proven right. Help him not to. Pray for him not to. And if he does slip and fall don’t cook his favorite meal and pamper/reward him for bad behavior while locating the other woman for a bout of fighting. Don’t keep silent. Let him know it is not okay for him to do that. You do not accept it.
I’ve heard a woman say “My dear, as long as he takes care of me and the kids, I don’t really care. He won’t change; I just pray that he doesn’t bring HIV back to infect me oh”
This is not okay! It’s not okay that he hits you. You are better than that. You deserve better than that! Hold your man responsible for his actions and stop making excuses for him. These days I find spinsters acknowledging that their man has other lady loves and choosing to stay put. Maybe you need to ask yourself who the side chick is? It’s not even marriage which is a covenant you cannot break; it’s a relationship where you can still decide if you can continue with that person forever. Not only are you losing your integrity, you’re signing on for worse behavior after marriage.
The way of peace is always best in a relationship. God has fashioned women to be peace bearers, to build their home and to make their family flourish. This doesn’t turn a woman to a foot mat though. In an upcoming post, I will discuss in detail what it means to be a submissive wife. Understanding and maturity is vital in any partnership and everybody has to meet their responsibilities in order for a relationship to flourish. This means acknowledging and making amends for your mistakes.
I won’t deny that it’s hurtful to go through these things. Most of the times you feel like you have no choice but to accept the situation and make the most of it, especially if you don’t believe in or condone divorce. I hope that by raising your standards, you start to find a sense of self worth.
Photo Credits: Huffington Post